VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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