Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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