sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
