Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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