Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
