I need help removing her.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
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