dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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