Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Four minutes until I can fart!
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
