Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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