We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize