If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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