Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
