You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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