to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
