When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
