You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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