She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I wish you could order shots online.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize