I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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