I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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