She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
