Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
