if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
