Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
