Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Is it because I queefed?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
