omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
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