K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
