Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
