so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
