would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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