I hope mine doesn't look like that
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
