she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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