i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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