Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
