Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
