My hand turned me down
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
