I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
