I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
