the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
