I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
