So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
