Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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