girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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