Moan for me like Helen Keller
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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