I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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