i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize