mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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