just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
