The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
