I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
there's paper in my vomit.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Randomize
