Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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