Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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