Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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