Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
