We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
