i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
