DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
