this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
