think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Panties = found
Randomize
