It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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