She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Randomize